A few days away and looking at the sea, wishing I had the courage to do a Reggie Perrin, has made me realise that I have let the situation get on top of me. Yesterday was such a bleak day that I think I really hit rock bottom as I spent the day in tears on one friends shoulder or another, not good really when you are at a club meeting; but the support of family, friends and even complete strangers have made me see I am loved and wanted and that the world would be a worse place without me.
So today, is a new start, a new week of a new life. Opportunities are out there, I am not certain how much trust I have left as that bucket definitely needs refilling but it will take a while, and I am going to not let the recent events stop me from trying life out again as SOH did show me that living with him was a great time and I enjoyed being part of a couple and I don't know that I want to live my life in solitary confinement for the rest of my life.
One consolation is that with the stress I have lost a fair bit of weight, no bad thing as clothes were beginning to be a bit tight, and I intend to lose more as I am faily unhealthily overweight according to the doc. So every morning I head off to the gym for my daily exercise routine, and in the evenings I am trying to do a bit of work in the garden before it gets too dark and cold.
Thanks for all your moral support, kind words of encouragement and anything else you have thrown at me; now I start the hard slog back up to the land of the living.