09 December 2008

Some Good News

There will be a giveaway contest on this site soon.. more details to come in the future... but it will be something I have mentioned in one of my posts.

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It has been freezing cold just recently, and even the central heating has been going overnight as the frost stat kicks in which helps to keep the house toasty warm. Being an old 1930's house it isn't the easiest house to keep warm, and despite central heating the 18 inch gap below the floor in the living room does mean that this room is cool in summer and in winter if the wind is from the North. Yep just like it has been.

Then last night it warmed up, slightly disturbing as this can foretell snow, but not a whiff of the white stuff to be seen.. instead at some point in the wee small hours of the morning the ice came back and left fantastic displays of ice-tracks on all the car windows and paintwork. SOH asked if I had taken any photo's and I admit I haven't owing to the fact that it is perishingly cold outside and I was enjoying a cup of hot chocolate at the time. So you will just have to take my word for it.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of going to Milton Keynes, for a Mammogram... I last had one of those a fair few years ago and at one point in time it was quite painful in the strange position you were asked to hold - it was a good job that they provide grab handles. Afterwards, I worked from home rather than go back to the office, one of the perks of working in Education is the ability to take work out of the office.

One of my favourite poetesses is Pam Ayres, who wrote this missive on the subject.

Oh, I Wish I'd looked after Me Tits
By Pam Ayres

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

'Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they're less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.


Elaine said...

Oh, Sage, I had not heard that poem before, but I love it.

Of course, it does not apply to me.

(Believe that and you'll believe anything.

Rae!xx said...

I love Pam Ayres too and that peom in particular.

We like good news too...xx

dickiebo said...

OK Sage. It's too late for the tits so...bring on the contest!

gemmak said...

Ugh...I feel for you, MK is bad enough but for a mammogram too is purgatory!.

Ohhh...but a contest, that sounds exciting :o)

The W.O.W. factor said...

I love that poem Sage! Funny thing, I went through that ordeal just today...and like you, good thing they give something to hang on to! You would think, with todays technology..they could come up with a better plan!!
Can't wait to hear about your contest!!!

Anonymous said...

Goodness, it must be the season for mammograms. I had one a week or so ago. Not one of my favourite occupations though this time wasn't nearly as painful as it has been in the past. Practice makes perfect perhaps.