26 June 2010

Saturday Satire : The Honeymoon

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing.

When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, "What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird."

"I had tolio as a child," he answered.

"Tolio? Surely you mean polio?" she asked.

"No, it was tolio. The disease only affected my toes."

When the groom took off his trousers, his bride once again asked "What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!"

"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained.

"Kneasles? Surely you mean measles?" she asked.

"No, it was kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."

Although she thought it was odd, the new bride just had to be satisfied with his answer.

As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underpants.

"Don't tell me," she said.

"Let me see if I can get this one right for myself... errmmm.... smallcox?"


Aja said...


soubriquet said...

There are many diseases,
That strike people's kneeses,
Scorflufus! is one by name
It comes from the East
Packed in bladders of yeast
So the Chinese must take half the blame.

There's a case in the files
Of Sir Barrington-Pyles
While hunting a fox one day
Shot up in the air
And remained hanging there!
While the hairs on his socks turned grey!

Aye!Scorflufus had struck!
At man, beast, and duck.
And the knees of the world went Bong!
Some knees went Ping!
Other knees turned to string
From Balham to old Hong Kong.

Should you hold your life dear,
Then the remedy's clear,
If you're offered some yeast - don't eat it!
Turn the offer down flat-
Don your travelling hat-
Put an egg in your boot - and beat it!

(Spike Milligan)

Relax Max said...