Saturday Satire : The New Sailor

The Navy Captain noticed a new seaman and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name sailor?"

"John," the new seaman replied.

"LISTEN TO ME!" the Captain shouted, "I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart, poofy, do - good, politically correct crap they're teaching sailors during training nowadays, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the Captain scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only - Smith, or Jones, or Baker, or whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Captain'. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?", he bawled at the poor sailor.

"Aye, Aye Captain!"

"Now that we've got that straight, what is your last name?"

The seaman replied. "It's Darling, my name is John Darling, Captain."

"Okay, John, now here's what I want you to do ......"