CV Howlers

I have been busy reading about how to improve my CV and get a head start, one section of a book I was reading said about the sort of howlers recruitment consultants see and these are some of them.. have a chuckle

• One was like a ransom note, letters and words cut out of the newspaper and stuck onto a sheet of paper
• A scientist sent in a massive document half an inch thick with all their publications in it
• One had a load of sports certificates including their school high jump certificate - they hadn't even won, they came in second
• The one that had dog-eared corners on it that looked as though the dog had chewed on it, or the baby had.
• The one with stains on, what they were no one was prepared to investigate too closely
• The one produced by a graphic designer that was a work of art, for an advertising role
• Personal photos taken in a photo booth - badly
• One listener phoned into a talkback interview we were giving and told the authors about the made who had his CV hand-delivered by a strippergram.
• A bank manager who made his CV out to look like a bank cheque, with the address appearing like the banks address and the telephone numbers looking like the cheque numbers
• An Architect produced a 3-D CV that was the perfect model of a house. On lifting the roof, each room contained different information on the candidate
• An application for every general manager's position advertised at the same company, regardless of the functional area, and sent the same poorly typed standard photocopied letter of application plus a CV with a handwritten reference to the position he was seeking
• An applicant sent his CV in 16 point font so that it read like a kid's book

Needless to say, I have now amended my CV (just kidding) but I did find these funny and also disheartening at the same time as my CV has been passed over a few times... hence my reading up on how to make it look a lot better.