31 January 2011

Another week.. another beautiful but cold day

Monday again... luckily for me only a few hours at work as I am changing my days to fit in with SOH work arrangements and this week I am going to be busy Thursday/Friday so am having Monday/Tuesday off but I needed to collect the files required for my visits this week.

Then back home, via the library in Redruth. I have been here over a year and never visited the library.. my how they have changed, now the staff are there to answer questions while machines deal with book returns and booking out. Technology is fast becoming the normal mode of life, while some of the people I have contact with struggle on a day to day basis in dealing with it. The next generation will think nothing of it, as it will be normal to them, but some of our senior citizens who have lived through the years of rationing think it is confusing and mainly not for them.

This afternoon, I have cooked a ham ready for sandwiches and will be lovely as ham, egg and chips one night. Then I did a couple of hours work on my literature review having finally decided to cover the use of blogs as reflective journals in education. Keep your fingers crossed that this is accepted as my project.

College tonight, but at least I won't be quite as tired as I am normally.

30 January 2011

Rugby - Cornish Pirates vs Worcester Warriors

SOH and I were given a pair of tickets to this match, not only that but it was shown on Sky TV and as the couple in front of us were told by a friend that they were seen on TV it is likely that we two also were there... oh for that fleeting second of fame.. still we have it recorded and you never know we might even spot ourselves.

The match was a close one, Worcester opened the scoring with a try but pirates leading by a large margin at half-time it was always going to be an interesting second half. Sure enough when the two teams returned it was with a vengeance, and the final score was 30 to Pirates but 33 to Worcester. In the Pirates defense, they missed two penalty chances so missing out on six points but they definitely didn't disgrace themselves either.

The only note of discontent was for the weather, despite the sunshine it was bitterly cold and we were glad of a warm drink at halftime. Back home now, we are watching the LV cup match between Wasps and Harlequins though the commentary is still coming from the Mennaye.

29 January 2011

Saturday Satire : A Caring Golf Husband

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack.
"Help me, dear" she groans to her husband.

He quickly calls 999 on his cell phone, and after a brief conversation, picks up his putter and lines up his putt.

His wife picks up her head off the green and glares at him ...."I'm dying over here and you're putting?"

"Don't worry sweetheart," says the husband calmly, "They found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."

"Well, how long will it take to get here?" she feebly asks him.

"No time at all. Everybody has agreed to let him play through."

27 January 2011

Cold but bright

It is cold here at Tre Agan this morning, but it is nice to see the sunshine after yesterday's gloominess and cloud. Murphy and I enjoyed our morning walk, but it was nice to get back inside and thaw out a bit.

My first appointment had to be postponed, but I don't have long before I have to leave for Penryn and will finish today at about 4.30. Sounds good, but doesn't include a lunch break as that is taken when I am driving between appointments so my paid lunchtime will be at 4.30 this evening so will be in time to take Murphy out for his evening exercise.

Still thinking about the alternative work issues.... would like more teaching but it would be nice to have a job that Murphy and I could do together.

26 January 2011

Thinking

I am thinking about a part-time job to make some money as 18.5 hours per week is slender income and with the costs of petrol rising all the time (along with food etc) I am having to consider other ways of earning more income.. on the bright side, Murphy would get far more exercise as he could come with me :-)

Any ideas.. I was thinking of distributing catalogues.. you know, household wares or cosmetics etc...

Any experiences, what to avoid etc...

24 January 2011

Thoughts are turning to Summer

My thoughts are turning to the year ahead, well it is nearly the end of January after all!

I would like to get some time in the garden, to make it visually more attractive, and to perhaps train Murphy to do his toilet in one spot (when I work out where that will be); he is very good bless him and has been from day 1. If you let him out into the garden before bedtime with the words hurry up he goes straight out and has a pee... mind you he is rewarded with a biscuit (or 3) when we go to bed.

SOH went out with his mates the other evening, Murphy and I couldn't settle all evening. I was cold, after the football and had a nice bath, TV was crap, tried watching something I had recorded earlier but eventually we settled down for a night's sleep. I was startled awake by a big booming bark, from the bottom of the bed, as SOH returned home and put the keys in the front door. I always wondered how protective of us he might be, but big scaredy cat that he is I am not sure as a burglar I would want to face the animal behind the noise.

Murphy is protective of me when we walk out in the dark mornings, but even these are getting lighter a bit earlier and we meet some of the regulars. Ruby the boxer being one, they wanted to play but time was short this morning and I didn't have the time to let him off the lead so we had a trot round the parks. When I have charged the camera up, I will do a picture diary of our morning walk.

Back to the garden, I want to try my hand at potato growing in a bag, and possibly some carrots as well but I hope to get an allotment patch soon so that more veggies can be grown and the garden just for pleasure. I guess more of Dad rubbed off on me than I thought.

22 January 2011

Saturday Satire - Women, No Sense of Humour

My wife and I went to the Cornwall County Show and one of the first exhibits we stoppted at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, ' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ...Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, ''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! ....You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR' My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow every time.'

My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable, and I should eventually make a full recovery.

20 January 2011

Wall to Wall Blues Skies and Sunshine

Here at Tre Agan today, I was treated to blues skies and sunshine from early morning to evening time and it was not only welcome but a good chance to air the house as well.

Murphy and I took a nice long walk this morning, the frost lay on the ground but the sun had some real warmth to it and we enjoyed our amble through the lanes of Redruth and some of the parks as well. We set off down the hill to Victoria Park, with it's original Victorian bandstand and did a circuit of this park including the bowling green with its velvet surface. Then onwards to Trefusis Park, Murphy can have a run here if there isn't any other dogs around, he still has issues over coming back when there is a dog to play with other than that he is happy to run around by himself rushing from smell to smell. Our final port of call is the football field, where he normally plays ball (when I remember to bring it) this morning it was occupied by a little terrier so Murphy had to content himself with a sedate walk around the edge.

On our return, we both had breakfast. It can be a little disconcerting when a large black lab sits in front of you, drooling like only a lab can, as you eat your cereals, hoping that he might be lucky and get some for himself. Shhh don't tell anyone but he does get a few as a treat now and again.

Cleaning the house was done steadily, the hoovering of numerous black hairs from a light beige carpet make it look cleaner and tidier and a spray of glass cleaner on the dining room windows made the sunshine even brighter.. it was even nice enough to sit outside during the mornng with a cup of coffee.

19 January 2011

Penzance

A good session at Penzance today, with lots of laughs and hilarity in the group as they attempted the practice tests prior to doing ECDL tests for real. For many of them it is the first time they have tried these tests and it limits each test to just 15 mins before timing out so lots of angst and laughter as they tried and failed.

I then got them to work in groups to try and do the tests again, each time providing them with background information and help to understand the question/subject etc. It never ceases to amaze me that when given a test to do as a group they resort to laughter at the first opportunity but they made me laugh when 5 mins into the test they were asking for a tea-break!

Next week's lesson, when I write it, will be on file management.

The drive home, with the light sky, was a real pleasure as was the very round, very large and beautiful moon.. who could ask for anything better in life?

18 January 2011

Longer days

Today it was sunny, though not warm except inside. Having said that, I managed to get the bulk of the washing done and dried outside which is good for the middle of January. Most of all, it didn't get dark until gone 5pm... the days are stretching out again and I am looking forward to Spring and all that it brings.

College has started again, with the first real session last night. We were talking about educational theorists and how it fits into the bigger picture.. interesting but by 8pm my mind was beginning to sieze up and even today I am not sure I know what I was writing down when I read my notes from last night.

One interesting point will be the independent study, I am inclined to do something involving e-learning but what that will be I am not sure; watch this space

15 January 2011

Saturday Satire - The wedding

Archie and jock are discussing jocks wedding. 

"Ach its all going well i've got everything organised.I even bought a kilt to be married in"

Archie says,"that's good ,whats the tartan"?

Jock says,"I don't know, i imagine she'll be in white".

14 January 2011

Its Hard to Believe

Here we are, nearly half way through January and it was mild enough today to go out and about in just a waistcoat/gilet rather than a full coat with scarf and gloves. Weird weather, but nice after the cold before Christmas and then the wet last week.

I am lucky to have so much driving in my job, it gives me a good opportunity to listen to the radio (pop master quiz, pirate fm etc) but also my collection of audio books... I have just finished listening to the Millenium trilogy (Girl with the dragon tattoo) and thoroughly enjoyed them.. what next, well I am going to listen to something I regularly go back to... A Christmas Carol... I love this book, I enjoy the films though I haven't see the latest Jim Carrey version. It never ceases to surprise me at the ending when Scrooge has a change of heart about Christmas and all that it really means.. family and friends and not the financial mayhem we usually experience.

Dickens had it right I think..

13 January 2011

Invigilating

I had my first session of invigilation on Wednesday.. I can honestly say it was the most boring thing I have done in my life to date...

It does pay good money, however I don't think I will be counting on doing much of this sort of work...

Back to the drawing board

12 January 2011

Murphy at 18 Months old

He loved Christmas, very chilled out dog... we gave him a large bone and even when the neighbours children came round he was more interested in them than in his bone... such a good boy!

This is him, snoozing on the sofa...as I said a very chilled out dog but one who likes his comforts

This is the boy dog when we had the first snow at the beginning of December.. I have never had a dog who didn't like snow and he is not the exception.. he loves running around in it and will chase snowballs until he can do no more...

Here he was told to sit and wait for a photo opportunity..

And of course posing as a Reindeer.. actually he loves the headpiece as it has bells on it... but he tries to get it off to make the bells tinkle...but with practice we did managed to get him to sit all of about 30 seconds unfortunately never long enough to get a better photo.

11 January 2011

11.11.11

Sounds good, doesn't it.. but it has passed like a ship on the ocean, just another day.

I delivered the last set of training for the Cornwall libraries today, there is some more interest in running more, but I don't know if I will be selected to deliver them; I can only hope I am lucky enough but you never know.

On another note, Tre Agan has been plunged into darkness since before Christmas, as the street lighting on the estate has been out of commission; it looks as though that situation may be changing as they have been testing some of the lights. I am hopeful that instead of peering through the dark and gloom when walking Murphy in the dark mornings that I can see the luminescent glow of street lights instead of just stars :-)

Murphy is a growing boy, he is filling out in some of the right places, and some wrong ones too... he needs more exercise.. something for both of us to work on.

10 January 2011

It's Done

I finally submitted the assignment for the first quarter of the course along with my fellow students this evening we gave a huge sigh of relief.

None of us are quite sure how we have done, and even if we have managed to interpret the requirements correctly as it all seemed to be a bit of a muddle about what was expected and by when. It didn't help when we had all the bad weather at the beginning of December as that made everything on the timetable go out by a week.

I will admit to not putting as much time on the assignments as I could have done over the Christmas period and I am pledging right here, right now, that I won't do the same thing for this assignment.

I think it will help that I am going to be exploring an issue involving e-learning which is my background prior to my current job I was employed as an e-learning officer providing both technical support and knowledge to lecturers.

09 January 2011

The Plan

The Plan or The politics of the workplace

In the beginning was The Plan

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And The Plan was without substance.

And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.

And the spoke amongst themselves, saying, "It is a crock of s**t, and it stinketh."

And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odour thereof."

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."

And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, "It is a vessel of fertiliser, and none may abide by its strength."

And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very powerful."

And the Vice President went unto the President, saying unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigour of the company, with powerful effects."

And the President looked upon The Plan, and saw that it was good.

And The Plan became Policy.


This is how S**t happens.

08 January 2011

Saturday Satire - New Teacher

A former Sergeant having served his time with the Marines took a new job as a school teacher.

Just before the school year started he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fitted well under his shirt and wasn't even noticeable.

On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.

The smart b*****s having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was before trying any pranks.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.

He had no trouble with discipline that year...

07 January 2011

Couldn't resist this

Thanks Pete for sending it to me, it made my day

video

On the 12th Day of Christmas.. my true love gave to me...

Yesterday morning, while getting ready to go to work, there was an ambulance parked outside Tre Agan. Not for us here but Liz who lives next door is due to give birth in January.

I was up at 6.45am and it was parked there then, with all the activity in Liz's house rather than a general scoop and run. Apparently it was still there at 8.30am when SOH was around and about.. I had long since gone to work.

Haven't seen the family, but it seems appropriate that their baby was born on the 12th day of Christmas. Will keep people updated.

06 January 2011

Rather Long Winded

No, not me, the training for exam invigilation. Not an easy ride, we actually have to work.. the only experience I had seen of invigilators courtesy of the Open University was they had a dossing session usually with a crossword or other quiet activity.. not for us. Rules and regulations galore with actions to follow upon actions.

Interestingly done, with no particular order in the information given. The rooms were either hot and stuffy or cold.. perhaps its was me as I am suffering the malaise of queasiness... I don't appear to be alone in this as a number of other people felt the same..

Luckily, I could come home afterwards... but still feel under the weather... roll on Spring I say

05 January 2011

Training Day

This morning I am on a training course to be an Exam Invigilator.

Another string to my  bow, this is for the main site of Truro College, and is sessional work. As I work part-time but need more money coming in I take on commitments as they arise.

I don't think it is testing, but could bring in some much needed additional funding and I will let you know how it goes.

04 January 2011

A solution to the full-body scanner

Here's a solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports:

All we need to do is develop a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have hidden on or in your body. The explosion will be contained within the sealed booth.

This would be a win-win for everyone. There would be no complaints about racial profiling and the device would eliminate long and expensive court trials.

This is so simple that it's brilliant. I can see it now: you're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, "Attention, standby passengers! We now have a seat available on flight number..."

03 January 2011

Quiz answers

Answers To Quiz:

1... The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls . (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons : Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season . When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe,question mark, exclamation point , quotation mark , brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

A New Year Quiz

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3.. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons . All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar . Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S .'


Answers later

02 January 2011

For the Elderly and Infirm of us...

SENIORS' TEXTING CODE

Since more and more Senior Citizens are texting and tweeting there is a pressing need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for your pension then this is the code for you.

ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My - Sorry, Gas.
ROTFL: CGGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
WMDP: Where's My Damn Phone? 



I can't help but think that Elaine (Late of Old Age is a Bitch) would have laughed out loud at this...

01 January 2011

Saturday Satire : Little Old Ladies are not to be trusted

An old lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Old Lady: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Old Lady: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Old Lady: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Old Lady: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see ... Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?
Old Lady: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Old Lady: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Old Lady: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Old Lady: His body parts are in plastic bags in the boot if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up.
Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Old Lady: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Old Lady: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Old Lady: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Old Lady: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.