30 January 2010

Saturday Satire - Updated Nursery Rhymes

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry..
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too cause he was gay.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.


Kippers Dickie said...

A few new one's there Sage. Well, new to me.
Mind you if you start on this theme I think your comment box could become rather overcrowded....especially with "Mary had a little lamb" lines.
The shortest I know is :-
"Mary had a little lamb,
Here husband had a shock"

Kathy G said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning.

Annette said...

Brilliant and Kippers is right. I.ve heard a few of Mary had a little lamb jokes as well.
I think they,re great and very funny.

Sorrow said...