17 November 2012

Saturday Satire : Grandad

A woman in a supermarket happens upon a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year-old grandson.

It's obvious to her that grandad has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle, same for fruit, cereal and soft drinks in their respective aisles. Meanwhile, grandad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy Edward, we won't be long. Easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears grandad calmly say, "It's okay, Edward. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the trolley, and grandad, again in a controlled voice, says, "Edward, Edward, relax, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes. Stay cool, Edward."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where grandad is loading his shopping and the boy into the car. "You know, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. Edward is very lucky to have you as his grandad."

"Thanks very much," said grandad, "but I'm Edward, the little so-and-so is called Jack."