28 November 2011

A weekend of sport

Not content with refereeing on Saturday, SOH decided to do the same on Sunday morning. Luckily the Saturday game was down at Clijah fields so the boys and I walked down to meet up with him at half-time and then walked home again. The weather is dry and mild, which is good, but the boys boredom threshold is even lower than mine. Normally I sit in the car with a good book, or work to do - I have even been known to do some marking!

Sunday, I didn't go with him, instead preferring to get the lunch ready, we don't normally have this at lunchtime, but in the evening but it is nice to have a midday meal.

Interspersed with the football, we have watched last weekend's european rugby action with Bath v Montpellier and the premiership of Northants vs Saracens something we have been lucky enough to be present at when we lived at the back of beyond.

I have in between times, pulled the sofa's out from the wall and hoovered the carpet underneath and moved one round to make room for the christmas tree which won't be too long in going up although one house in a nearby road has had its christmas decorations up for a couple of weeks - too early methinks.

26 November 2011

Saturday Satire - Wot a Wupert!

An RAF Group Captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Group Captain decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"

A Wing Commander chimed in with 75-25% in favour of work.

A Squadron Leader said it was 50-50%.

A Flight Lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favour of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the Group Captain turned to the Corporal who was in charge of making the coffee. What was his opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young Corporal responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."

The Group Captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

The room fell silent.

God Bless the lower ranks.

23 November 2011

I won something!

Nope, not the lottery! ::sigh::

Where I work have had some email competitions recently, I am still hoping to win tickets to see the Cornish Pirates at home but as yet have not been lucky.

So when they had an email to win tickets to see Robinson Crusoe and the Cornish Pirates at Hall for Cornwall, I sent in an email with few hopes, but this morning have found out that I have won two tickets to see a Panto and I am absolutely chuffed to bits.

I remember a lot of my childhood, but never going to see a pantomime, and always felt as though I had missed out on something special; so now I am going to have the opportunity.

21 November 2011

Sunday Sunshine

Yesterday we, in Cornwall, were blessed with sunshine and warmth. Unusually so for a late November day, but we had the windows and doors open, the washing on the line and even enjoyed a cup of coffee on the patio.

So it was somewhat of a surprise to hear how badly the eastern partof the country was affected by thick fog and bad weather so much so that flights were cancelled or delayed at many of the airports.

This time last year we were full of ice, cold, snow and dreadful weather. So much so that road clearing had to take place to get the cars out of the estate. Going home was equally problematic, and filled me with trepidation until I was safely parked and in the house - only to face the same thing the following morning.

The big kid in me wants to have snow, for the pond boys to run around in and run off some of their excess energy. Jasper is the big puppy dog, and full of beans luring Murphy into wild chases and slipping over in the muddy grass but both of them enjoying their walks together and much more calmly now we have halti's on them both.

Jasper has truly settled in at Tre Agan, and Murphy looks after him, ensuring his ears are clean - however this is not reciprocated by Jasper who is a bit of a Kevin at times... the unruly teenager just enduring care not appreciating it.

20 November 2011

I don't know if this is true or not, but like it

In an Underground station in London
There were protesters on the concourse handing out pamphlets on the evils of Britain. I politely declined to take one. 
An elderly woman behind me was getting off the escalator and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined. 
The young protester put her hand on the woman's shoulder as a gesture ...of friendship and in a very soft voice said, 'Madam, don't you care about the children of Iraq ?' 
The elderly woman looked up at her and said, 'My dear, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea and my grandson in Afghanistan. All three died so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth our country. 
If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your arse and open it.
......................... God Bless Great Britain (What we have left of it!)

19 November 2011

Saturday Satire - The Wise Old Dog

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.

I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the Hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.

This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is  and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:

'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep.
Can I come with him tomorrow?

18 November 2011

Have you ever been?

I have been in many places, but I have never been in Cahoots.
Apparently you can't go there alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport. You have to be
driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my family,
friends and those where I have worked.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump and I am not
too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go and I try not to
visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense. It really gets the
adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart. At my age I need all of
the stimuli I can get.

Now if I can just avoid getting in Continent.

With many thanks to Uncle Pete Dawes :-)

16 November 2011

City of Lights

Truro, which is a city by the way, yes we have then in Cornwall is having the City of Lights

What is it? Well the City of Lights is a procession of giant handmade withy and tissue lanterns floating through the streets carried by professional artists accompanied by a host of smaller lanterns carried by Cornish school children and local community and youth groups. This year's theme is Wildlife and having seen some of the previous years' entries I think it will be very good.

The parade starts at 7pm and the Christmas lights switch on will take place when the parade pauses for a grand countdown in Boscawen Street. The parade will finish between 8.00pm and 8.30pm.

So if you are not doing anything this evening and want to see something spectacular, come to Truro.

14 November 2011


The postcards that we sent from Tunisia arrived last Thursday, exactly three weeks after we sent them!

I wouldn't like to even think how they managed to get back at all, though glad they did although I remember thinking that it would have been quicker to bring them back and post them over here lol.

Originally when the British post office opened, you could post something in the morning and for it to be received in the afternoon and still leave you time for a reply the same day. With all our technology and machinery, we now do less with more than our ancestors.

13 November 2011

John McCrae - In Flanders Field

It is interesting to see John's handwritten version, but it still moves me as much now as when I first read it.

12 November 2011

Saturday Satire : Army Answering Machine


Thank you for calling the British Army. I'm sorry, but all of our units are out at the moment, or are otherwise engaged. Please leave a message with your country, name of organisation, the region, the specifics of the crisis and a number at which we can call you. As soon as we have sorted out the Balkans, Iraq, Afghanistan, Northern Ireland, the Millennium Bug, marching up and down bits of tarmac in London and compulsory Equal Opportunities training we will return your call.

Please speak after the tone, or if you require more options, please listen to the following:

If your crisis is small and close to the sea, Press 1 for Royal Marines.

If your concern is distant, with tropical climate and good hotels, and can be solved by 1 or 2 low risk bombing runs, please Press 'hash' for the Royal Air Force. (Please note that this service is not available after 1630hrs or at the weekend).

If your enquiry concerns a situation that can be resolved by a bit of grey funnel, bunting flags and a really good marching band, please write well in advance to 'The First Sea Lord, The Admiralty, Whitehall'.

If your enquiry is not urgent, Press 2 for the Allied Rapid Reaction Corps.

If you are in real, hot trouble please Press 3 and your call will be routed to Sandline International (mercenary services).

If you are interested in joining the Army and wish to be shouted at, paid little, have premature arthritis, put your wife and family in a condemned hut miles from civilization, and are prepared to work your arse off daily, risking life and limb in all weathers and terrain, both day and night whilst watching the Treasury eroding your original terms and conditions of service, the please stay on the line... Your call will shortly be connected to a bitter passed-over Recruiting Sergeant in a grotty shop down by the railway station.

Have a pleasant day and thank you again for trying to contact the British Army.

10 November 2011

A sad sight but all too common

I always find these gravestone so very sad, and yet have so much respect for those that died for our freedom that we take for granted today.

It doesn't matter which conflict

09 November 2011

.. and they'll all wear their poppies with pride

There's rats in the trenches
A thousand foul stenches
Of piss, pus and puke, blood and death
Jim's screaming his head off
'Cause Frank hasn't got one
And Joey's just drawn his last breath
While back home in Surrey
They try not to worry
And keep all their doubts locked inside
For in a few years
There'll be no more tears
And they'll all wear their poppies with pride...

She can't understand
As she holds the girl's hand
That her daughter's no longer attached
They were all blown to hell

As a terrorist cell
Though a wedding was all that they'd hatched
And back in the West
They're so sure they know best
Though they've tortured and murdered and lied
And they don't want to know
What the body counts show
As they all wear their poppies with pride...
Oh, they all wear their poppies with pride...

At the annual board meeting
Arms dealers are greeting
Reports of their profits with glee
They'll always be willing
To make a quick killing
From slaughter and mass misery
And when it's all over
They'll head off to stuff
The big bellies their suits cannot hide
And they won't spare a thought
For the carnage they've brought
But they'll all wear their poppies with pride...
Yes they'll all wear their poppies with pride...

Whoever you mix with
There's bound to be someone
Whose mind is still caught in the mesh
Those soldiers aren't heroes
They're nothing but fodder
For the thing that grows fat on our flesh
And you show no respect
For the ones left behind
Or the miserable sods who have died
If you can't face the truth about why they were killed
And you still wear your poppies with pride...
If you still wear your poppies with pride....
Do you still wear your poppies with pride?

(Paul Cudenec, 2009)

08 November 2011

Remembering those who have given their lives

As a biker, and as a child and grandchild of previously serving members of the forces, remembrance day has a special meaning to me.

07 November 2011


I will admit to being a big kid and loving fireworks, but in the right place and at the right time. Right outside our door is a big communal green area (that the management company would like to build on but that is another story), and one of our kind neighbours decided in their wisdom that this would be a great place to set off their fireworks on Friday night.

They parked their cars safely away from the area, while other neighbours property was put at risk for a few bangs and sparkles; SOH pointed out, quite correctly, that if anything had happened either property affected or people injured they would have been liable but thankfully on this occasion all went well.

The pondboys looked up at a particularly loud bang, but didn't really react badly at all and other than a few more on Saturday night we were not particularly inundated with them. Other pet owners dread this time of year, as their pets get very stressed out by the fireworks both noise and colour. The sooner they clamp down on private sales the better for me as I think the best displays are the organised ones.

My sympathy to those people affected by the M5 crash on Friday night, it is never easy to lose a loved one, but in those circumstances it must have been horrible.

05 November 2011

Satire Satire : Teaching Manners

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the Following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back..'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to Say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'

'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'

The teacher fainted

03 November 2011

No More Cages

Jasper came to us at the end of March, and up until October he slept in a cage downstairs in the living room. This was partly because he was a bit of a chewer and we didn't want to risk his health or the house contents while we were out.

If we didn't shut him in at night, he would bounce around like a demented tigger, so we all could get some sleep if we used the cage. The drawbacks were that the dog hairs would be trapped underneath and it was very heavy to move daily, not only that making Jaspers bed (a double quilt - spoilt or what?) was damned difficult.

We made the decision to do away with the bed, when Jasper settled down enough, and replaced it with two plastic dog beds one for each of the pond boys. Murphy sleeps upstairs in his den (under our bed) and Jasper after a few nights of wandering upstairs and being told to go to bed is as good as gold and sleeps downstairs in his. He hasn't chewed anything other than one of my old socks and both boys looked guilty of the offence so no blame could be put on one or the other.

It will make Christmas easier as the cage took up a lot of space in the dining room, and we are in the midst of the run up to christmas with all the adverts starting to sell, sell, sell.. SOH and I have our christmas present as we treated ourselves to a new tv (I can hear the groans from Kath lol) but we don't tend to go out much so this is our socialising entertainment - we traded in our two years worth of tesco vouchers to pay for the majority of it and rest came from the remainder of our holiday money.  Just have to work out the technology now as this tv also comes with internet access when I get it sussed.

01 November 2011

November 1st

I love the effect of this, and yes from today, I will be wearing my poppy.