31 October 2012


Skyfall is where we start
A thousand miles and poles apart
When worlds collide, and days are dark
You may have my number, you can take my name
But you'll never have my heart

Let the sky fall, when it crumbles
We will stand tall
Face it all together

(C) lyrics by Adele

I went to the cinema last night to see the new James Bond movie Skyfall. My mum used to be a big fan of the films but I could take or leave them; despite my love for Sean Connery.

But then came Daniel Craig, Casino Royale and then Quantum of Solace and now Skyfall.. no more playing for humour he is hard, dark and muscular and human, most important human. You begin to see behind the character to the real James Bond, what drives him and why he is good at what he does. No stiff upper lip for him, he is brutal and tough yet tender at times and the gratuitous sex scenes (Pierce Brosnan, Roger Moore) are few which makes this more up to date.

I loved this new film, came away looking forward to many more opportunities to spend with my new hero, and hoping that he never tires of the role.

Not giving away any of the outcomes of the film, just in case you wondered. If you want to know what happens then you need to go and see it and I may well treat myself to another viewing at some point in time

28 October 2012

Teacher's Pet?

Graduation Day - 26th October 2012 
Truro Cathedral
Post Graduate Certificate in Education

27 October 2012

Saturday Satire : The Funeral

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her
morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession
approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long
black hearse about 50 feet behind the
first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary
woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance
back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman was so curious that she respectfully
approached the woman walking the dog and said,
"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a
bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this.
funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was
trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"You'll need to get in line."

26 October 2012

Prescription Fee Increases

The General Medical Association has weighed in on the Prime Minister's prescription fee increase.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The ENT specialists didn't swallow it, and just wouldn't hear of it . The Pharmacologists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, but the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the arseholes in London!

25 October 2012

Oh Momentous Day (actually Night)

Tomorrow is graduation day (well night, it is at 7.45 at Truro Cathedral and I will be graduating as a Post Graduate Certificate in Teaching in the Lifelong Sector (could teach in schools now but don't think I want to)

It is, and despite the past 8 months, the culmination of my ambition to retrain as a teacher. With lots of support from everyone except my ex-partner, I have achieved my goal, my mentor and my tutor ensured I had support (and pressure) to do the assignments and while I may not have achieved a distinction or merit it is enough to have achieved the qualification.

My Graduation Speech

Along the way I have found that I enjoy teaching Maths, yep me who was deemed an imbecile at school and relegated to the commercial calculations class rather than the more academic o levels and I like it when students pass their course and their qualifications and say thank you... I tell them not me, you did the hard work, I was only your tour guide.

ICT has always been a love of mine, from 1982 when I met my first computer I was head over heels in love.. besotted by technology and seduced by gadgets.. they will always feature in my life.. watching students master the skills to gain a driving licence (yes, I know it bugs me, cars you drive computers you operate hence the old name computer operators)..

and then to English, I have fun with this part, my love of words and language stand me in good stead and I have endless opportunities to pass this on to my students from ice breakers using spellings, and games with letters it all helps to engage them in using this long and very mixed up language to serve them well in their future careers.

Am I in the right job, yes wholeheartedly yes, and I wished I had known it sooner but I haven't wasted my life or love of the skills and will not do so in the future.

I wish my Dad particularly could be here to see this, he was very proud of me when I got my first degree and sad that I chose not to graduate (too impersonal to me) so tomorrow night will be for him and for my Mum who taught me so much about how to teach - not that I knew it at the time...

To all those who supported me, and those that did not, I thank you... sometimes I begrudged it at the time but looking back on it I see it now as important.

.. and onward I will go 

21 October 2012

Belated Saturday Satire : The Bus Crash

A bus load of Politicians were driving down a country road in Scotland when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer after seeing what happened went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the MPs.

A few days later, the local Police came out, saw the crashed bus, and then asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"

The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them MPs exagerate."

15 October 2012

50 Shades of Grey

A husbands view

The missus bought a Paperback

...down Shepton, Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag;
....T'was "fifty shades of grey".

Well I just left her to it,

And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;

A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
.....I must dominate !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,

You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked

Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;

About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.

14 October 2012

Long Walk

Today was the day for a long walk with the boys, the sun was shining but the wind is cold...

I needed time to think over a decision, and once made, it was set in stone.

I have told the ex he has to move everything out from the garage that belongs to him.... he will have to find storage over at his new location, and I am closing the door with regret.

Why regret? you can't help but think it should have worked, but I knew last christmas that it was drawing to a close, his card to me was simply dear partner.... I could have cried, no more the card to the one I love or my fiance.. I was relegated to partner and from then on in it was downhill to the final exit as by then he had met the one he was planning to be with.

I wished I had tackled it sooner, to have forced an answer out of him, but whenever I had tried to do it in the past he had turned it back to me with 'you are imagining it' so perhaps it was better the way it ended with someone else finding out about the other woman and throwing her out which left her free to be with him.

I no longer feel angry with him, nor with her either. Just sad that after four years I still never really knew him nor think I ever will understand him.

In the meantime, I have my three boys, a good job and live in a lovely part of the world and some very, very good friends who make me laugh, support me, teach me how to cast on thumbwise and cableknit... I don't plan on going anywhere fast and am enjoying being single again, possibly forever now; but I don't know what the future holds, nor would I want to, somethings are best left to explore.

13 October 2012

Saturday Satire : The Bog

Paddy the Groom was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by.

"Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!"

Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there."

Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail.

After two more unsuccessful attempts, Micksaid to Paddy, "Shure, an' Oi can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help."

As Mick was leaving, Paddy called "Mick! Mick!

D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?

06 October 2012

Saturday Satire : Jobs

Paddy and Mick worked together in a textile mill and both were laid off, so they went to the Job Centre to see about getting unemployment benefit.

When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, "Panty Stitcher. I sews the elastic onto ladies cotton panties."

The clerk looked up panty stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him £80 a week unemployment pay.

Mick was next and when asked his occupation replied, "Diesel fitter." Since diesel fitter was classed as a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick £160 a week.

When Paddy found out what Mick was getting he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, "Panty Stitcher's are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labour."

"What skill?" yelled Paddy. "I sew the elastic on the panties. Mick puts them over his head and says:

Saying - "Yep, diesel fitter!"

01 October 2012

At last!

October has arrived and with it the freedom to take the Pond Boys down on to the beach. Previously we have been banned from 7am to 7pm and it has been hard to look at a sunny days and not want to spend it on the beach with my best friends but restricted we have been.

First chance we get, we will be down to enjoy the beach at Hayle on the Towans as on my charity walk I saw some lovely sand and the boys will love running around on that.

The joys of Autumn bring with it the freedom.