Here is the definition: "Figure ofspeech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a paraprosdokian.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his leveland beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appearbright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not puttingit in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and thenproceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from manyis research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where atrain stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'Incase of emergency, notify:' I put DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down thestreet with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of asuccessful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way.So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need aparachute to skydive twice.
19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down sothey can't get away.
21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whateveryou hit the target.
24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more thanstanding in a garage makes you a car.
27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a waythat you look forward to the trip.
28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when youwish they were.
29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon,and a shot of tequila.
30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the FireDepartment usually uses water.