30 November 2009

Is your world upside down today?

¡¡ pɹɐoqʎǝʞ uɐılɐɹʇsnɐ uɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐl ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

I couldn't resist this line above, borrowed from one of my many sources.

How is your world today?

Mine is bitterly cold, and no heating at work either so feeling the cold a tad. Not helped by a bitter wind outside though thankfully it has stopped raining hard overnight.

On a positive? note, the Met men have forecast a mild winter. Now this made me think, as it was the same guys who forecasted such a blazing hot summer that it would be permanently bbq time and look what happened there.. a veritable washout with a few very hot days but nothing spectacular.

With the Autumnal floods in areas of the UK having a major impact for those people who will not be able to return to their homes for months, it isn't going to be a fun christmas for any of them, many of whom have lost almost everything and insurance can only do so much.

So today's challenge is to guess what the UK has in store for Winter, and we can all have a giggle at what people suggest, after all, we have had pretty much everything this year except a dust-storm :-)


28 November 2009

Saturday Satire - Husband Hunting

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again.
She put an ad in the local paper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED:

MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME &
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she
opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a
wheelchair.. He had no arms or legs.

The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?
Just look at you...you have no legs!

The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!'

She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!'

Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!'

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???'

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said...

Rang the doorbell didn't I?

27 November 2009

Square Peg in a Round Hole

Increasingly I have felt as though I am the title of this post, a square peg in a round hole. What used to be a challenging and exciting job is now terrifyingly dull. It isn't helped by the changes orchestrated by the University, and the department, and while I have always been adaptable to change I am increasingly finding that there is no method of madness involved. I come in to work, I do my job and I go home.

I attended a meeting yesterday, where I tried to put my point of view over saying how I perceived things to be, only to be asked that what had I done to try and remedy things. I outlined some of the conversations I had taken part in, and those people were there at the same meeting; it was no surprise to encounter the total lack of support I have felt for over 18 months.

The team meetings attend provide a chance for individuals to say what they have done, but the concept of team doesn't exist only individuals and as for the departmental team building days, this year was cancelled due to lack of funding (and enthusiasm), they were a waste of time, after the day nothing had changed, no opportunities to work closely with other groups offered and all that happened was that we had a day out of the office in the sunshine if we were lucky.

When I left school at the grand old age of 16 I had no idea of what I wanted to do (well I did but I kept changing my mind), I was given two choices, either go to college or get a job.

My first job was at a factory making transformers, we had a set amount of work to achieve and in a set amount of hours and you were given a period of time before you had to start meeting your targets or face the wrath of the supervisor.

I lasted three years, worn out at the age of 19 by the sheer ugliness of the job. Yes you could have a laugh with the other girls, but the machines were a little noisy, you could listen to the radio when it was permitted to be on but it was soul destroying there was no opportunity to advance in skills or expertise and right now I feel as though I felt when I was 19 which is a square peg in a round hole.

Now like then, I know there is an opportunity out there and although I am not certain that the ground under my feet is firm I am going to be reaching out for it and taking the risk along with it because the excitement and challenge is better than playing safe

26 November 2009

The Best Days of your Life?

School is supposed to be the best days of your life, according to some wisdom often mentioned by adults when I was at school.

Not for me, I lost track of the number of schools I have attended, some for 6 months at a time because of army postings and being relocated to Malaya and Germany as well as various places in the UK. Not that I would have changed those experiences for the world. Zeltus and I did have the option to go to boarding school, but he had experienced that whilst in Malaya and I don't think enjoyed it very much, I was never one for the Mallory Towers books never mind the real thing.

The last school was particularly trying for me, Mill Chase County Secondary School in Bordon. Coming from an Army background this was the first civilian school I had attended in a few years and it was completely different from any other one I had attended. The teachers were ineffective in dealing with classroom issues and most of the time I just tried to keep my head down and not be a highlight for the bullies. I lost track of how many things were mislaid by me (taken from me) and I couldn't wait to escape as soon as possible.

I enjoyed the learning process, just not the place in which those processes happened. When the move to the Back of Beyond was due I was asked if I wanted to stay on at school and that was the easy answer - frankly I would rather pull my teeth out with a pair of pliers..lol.

So never one for an easy option, I started work at the grand old age of 16 years and 5 months of age and still working now. The Open University was a god send to me, I could enjoy the experience and get a degree while still working and even though I have my degree now, I can always be persuaded to continue my learning development.

25 November 2009

Yesterday's Post and More Ideas

I got a few comments on the learning Cornish post of yesterday, some positive some less so and each valid for their reasons. My main reason is because it is relatively cheap, keeps me occupied and since I am moving to Cornwall is in keeping with where I am living.

If I moved to France, Italy or Germany I would do the same, try to integrate to be part of the community and the only difference is that Cornish like Welsh is a regional language and signs etc would be bilingual. Dickiebo quite rightfully pointed out that this is in many cases just a means of jobs for the boys which I agree with but I also believe that there are too many instances where English/British individuality is being erased by eurobureacracy and that we often give up things of value which we should hold onto; whether Cornish fits better into this category remains to be seen but I hope it does and that it grows.

So where is this post going? Well Hadriana came back from London having visited the Language Fair (how I wished I had known this was on) and was saying about learning Latin. My old University (can one say that about the Open University?) got some government money for putting up learning materials freely available to all, which I remembered included a basic Latin course and I posted the link to Hadriana the link is here if anyone else is interested, as well as Latin it has more modern languages, French, German and Spanish as well as other snippets of learning materials in History, Art, English etc and all of it absolutely free.

So if you have every fancied having a look, learning a new skill or just browsing for free materials then please follow the link.

If you know of any more links, please let me know.

....and on a sad note, exactly one calendar month today will be Christmas Day ... sigh

24 November 2009

Learning Cornish

I decided to spend my time usefully in learning a smattering of Cornish, I might not be able to speak it but I hope by the time I get there that I will be able to write down some useful phrases and have some understanding.

You can learn Cornish by distance learning, and following a couple of links I found myself at Kernewek Dre Lyther.

They have a comprehensive list of materials, and you pay for a first level course, which includes an audio cassette and a tutor to mark your written work. I haven't yet taken this step, I downloaded the materials included some MP3 files so I can play them when it is a quiet moment and study at my own pace without feeling like I am falling behind a schedule.

So far I am still on dsykans onan or lesson 1, the similarities between Cornish and Welsh (Cornish is one of the family of Celtic languages, closely related to Welsh and Breton and slightly more distantly to Irish, Scots Gaelic and Manx so work that one out if you can) are there but there are differences generally in the mutations of the word.

According to records by the nineteenth century, Cornish had died as a spoken community language, although there are records of the language being spoken particularly at sea by Newlyn fishermen. During this century there was a resurgence of interest in celtic culture which meant that Cornish attracted some academic attention. The plays of the middle Cornish period were re-visited, and academics such as Edwin Norris and Whitley Stokes published them with commentaries and translations. It was not until early in the twentieth century, however, that an attempt was made to revive the language.

In 1904 Henry Jenner published his Handbook of the Cornish language, based on the texts available to him at the British Museum. This kick started the revival of Cornish as a living, spoken language, and Jenner's work was picked up and continued by Robert Morton Nance, who researched and gathered together more fragments of the language, finally developing a regularised spelling system based on the medieval texts, known as Unified Cornish. The revival continued to grow throughout the early twentieth century, with evening classes, events and examinations being established as well as some teaching in schools outside the formal curriculum. Books and magazines were published for users of the language. The 1980s and early 1990s saw a time of review and reconsideration about the theory of reviving a language, plus additional research on the texts. This resulted in the proposal of different approaches which moved the language on from the initial research that Jenner and Morton Nance had carried out in the early twentieth century. In the early 1980s Richard Gendall began exploring the Cornish of the Late period. He worked from the premise that a language revival should be based upon the last available evidence from when the language was last spoken, and the form of Cornish now known as Modern Cornish grew out of this work. In the late 1980s, Dr Ken George carried out a great deal of research into the phonology of the language, including how this could be better linked to the orthography by a rationalised spelling system, and the result of this was the beginning of Common Cornish. Finally, in 1995 celtic scholar Professor Nicholas Williams proposed an amended version of Unified Cornish, called Unified Cornish Revised, which takes the texts of the sixteenth century as its main source.

Despite what people (emmets) say, tiddy oggy isn't actually cornish in the current sense but a local term for a pasty...

So is Cornish, Cornish? There are those who would say that if a language is not spoken by anyone, then it cannot be resurrected successfully, but it seems to me that the basis for the language has been given its roots and that what we have is as close to the original as may be.

23 November 2009

What a Weekend

Full of wind, gales, rain and generally crap. Nothing on the gogglebox to entertain though thankfully I now note that the non-singers in the X-factor aka Jedward have now left the competition.

Quite frankly I literally popped in to see the sing-off and they were both sadly out of tune with the song; how they have managed to get this far is beyond me. Perhaps now the nation can get on with wasting their money and time in voting for the winner now whoever that will be.

I watched a couple of christmas movies on sky, and it is only November... I haven't got the christmas festivities at all this year, it is a real struggle to think about it never mind do something about it.

Otherwise I have been doing some studying, no surprise to Max therefore that this time my efforts have turned to Cornish. The similarity between this and Welsh is quite high as officially the original Cornish speakers have long since died out and this is the adopted form of the language which is derived from celtic forms. So far I am ploughing my way through Dyskans 1 (lesson 1), which is the equivalen of Janet and Yowann or John. I may not be able to speak it but I hope to be able to read and write it by the end of my studies.

21 November 2009

Saturday Satire - 20 Years of Marriage

A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn’t in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she asks. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.

"Yes, I do," she replies.

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"

"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?’"

"I remember that, too," she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today."

20 November 2009

Children in Need Day

Don't worry this isn't a plug for money, nor what events are on in the local area or even in the country and while I do support the charity that isn't what this post is about.

I was watching a programme on BBC3 The World's Strictest Parents, this time from Lebanon with Iman and her husband and family taking in two british teenagers Debbie and Daniel. It started off in the usual way, showing the teenagers at their worst with their family, swearing, drinking etc and then the time they spent in Lebanon including time at a school.

I started to really have some sympathy for Debbie, who uses make-up and the way she dresses to avoid bullying and this led also to some of the problems with her family and being able to apologise without feeling as though she has lost the argument. Even Daniel, as the week grew on, had a minor revelation in that doing something as simple as mending bikes (it might be for him but to me it is a major skill) for a children's orphanage.

Both of them benefitted from the experience, not just the change in culture but it allowed them to see for themselves the effect their behaviour had, not only on themselves but also on their families.

So what do Children need, well for certain it isn't carte blanche for bad behaviour none of us are angels, but they do need parents who care for them enough to set standards for them to adhere to and appropriate discipline when they go wrong. This won't please the politically correct brigade who have empowered the children in this country with so many rights that it is hard to do anything but stand back and let them self-destruct.

SOH when he worked as a prison officer, had to escort children as young as 10 to court, and not always for serious offences, though those happened as well. In this instance the child's case was thrown out of court but it was only brought because the adult in charge of him saw fit to involve the police when normally a discipline should and could have been used.

On the news today, there is an increase of over 900% of children receiving asbo's, incarceration orders etc since the introduction of Rights of the Child, so it plain to see that what we have is not working and what is needed is for all of us adults to ensure that the children of tomorrow are given better behaviour guidelines, protection from themselves and appropriate standards for them to adhere to or the situation will only get much worse in the future.

Don't get me wrong I am not advocating the bad old days of cane and belt where abuse was standard in most homes. But parents being able to say No and mean it, and following it up with appropriate discipline and not giving in for a quiet life. How many times have I heard parents say "No please don't do that" to children in public, only to repeat it over and over again. Somehow parenting seems to be evolving into bargaining with them.

19 November 2009

Just too funny for words

Sometimes you just come across something that is too funny for words, click on the link and enjoy the expertise involved (it is work safe)

Link

I was fascinated by it and can't imagine how long it took the person to create.. but if I had half his/her talent I would be a happy bunny.

18 November 2009

True Friendship

What exactly is true friendship?

I think I know what it is, let me see :

Being there for you no matter what you do or say, always providing moral if not physical support. The first to cheer you on and the last to give up on you.. that seems to be my view of it but tell me if I left anything out here.

I know what it isn't, having lost two so called friends along the road during 2008. Not by my choice, theirs, they didn't like what I was doing, nor who I was doing it with and decided that if I continued along my route it was going to be totally separate from theirs; at the time it coincided with anniversaries that were difficult enough emotionally.

At both these times I was meekly accepting, not fighting for what I percieved was lost. Now after 18 months I see that these friendships were not real, both of the people concerned were at best superficial friends though at the time I thought different. I am sad always at the loss of a friend, but I am no longer grieving for something that was not what I thought it was.

Here's to new friends, new activities and new beginnings...

17 November 2009

Sergeant Howie RIP

I can remember the first time I watched the Wicker Man and the eventual death of Sergeant Howie played admirably by Edward Woodward who himself died yesterday. The world has lost a great actor and personality and although his memories will live on in celluloid and our minds, there must be a great hole in his family's life and that will be much harder for them to fill.

Mr Woodward, was in films from 1955 right up until his last appearance in EastEnders, but my favourite of all times was the Wicker Man. Yes it was a horror, had witchcraft, death etc and had sexual scenes with Brit Ekland in it. I would think it was cutting edge of what was permitted in 1973 and to a teenage girl it was an eye-opener.

I loved him as the Equaliser, and a part he played to perfection tough but fair and I hope that he knows how much people admired him.

I laughed at his performance in Hot Fuzz with Simon Pegg, you couldn't help laugh at this film, it was black comedy at its very best and I think drew a little on the Wicker Man film.

RIP Edward Woodward, RIP

16 November 2009

Leisurely Weekend

I will admit to taking it easy over the weekend, instead of doing everything I only did enough that was necessary, so the washing had to wait, as did pressure washing the front drive. Neither did I go supermarket shopping, and tea on Saturday was sausages in a roll - no onion this time.

What I did was, hoover, polish, clean. Gave the ratz a good spring clean, not that they appreciate it as they have shredded the paper already lol, replenished their food, water and treats and generally spending a bit of time with them playing. Gus is quite happy to come out of the cage and on my shoulder, even snuffling into my ear as though to say what's in there then? Barnie on the other hand is a little more retiring and is happy to come out onto my hand but any movement sends her scuttling back into her shelter.

It's black bin day this week, so I also spent yesterday filling it to the brim with unwanted items, all needing to be cleared out and not suitable for freecycling, I also made a list of things to be freecycled all of which are going on the list today.

I made time to watch Twilight which premiered on Sky this weekend, and it is good fun, not really a romcom, nor a horror but an interesting take on the two and I can see why there is so much attention being played with the new follow up film. It is nice to see a film, which addresses the fantasy world with much better direction than has been done in the past in War of the Worlds, somehow I felt that film really lost it's way - badly done.

I also caught up with Doctor Who, Water of Mars, disappointed the first time in a long while I just wanted to get to the end and see where it was going next... We all know David is leaving, but this was dull and uninteresting from start to finish.

14 November 2009

Saturday Satire - Mother

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She was infront of him whilst they were waiting in the checkout queue, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mum' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy." She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man waved his hand and called out, "Goodbye, Mum."

The little old lady waved and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.

"That comes to £121.85," said the clerk.

"How come so much? I only bought 5 items."

The clerk replied, "Yes, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."

13 November 2009

Freedom

Freedom is something we take for granted, yet it is a funny thing, it can mean something different to a number of people.

Today Traction Man gets freedom from hospital, and has left the traction behind but his freedom will be limited by his mobility for a little while; still at least the food will improve no end thanks to Mrs TM.

Jo from Life in Windermere, is free from her Gall Bladder at long last and hopefully free of the pain that went along with the little blighter as well.

Others are less free, I won't link to them but some of the blogs I visit either occasionally or daily are limited by their choices, (and not always listed in my weblinks) or by their needs and my hope is that they too find some happiness in their lives.

So my toast to you today, is freedom, may it give you joy and happiness and memories.

Bi-Lingual - Right or Wrong

Cornwall decided on Wednesday that in future the county of Cornwall is to officially become a bi-lingual part of Britain, with all street signs appearing in two languages similar to that which is used in Wales.

So in the future when an old street or place sign needs replacing the new one will have both languages on it including the ones on the border from Devon will now read 'Kernow a'gas dynnergh' - or 'Welcome to Cornwall'

Of course not everyone agreed with the decision, but that is democracy in action for you and it is more widespread than just changing the street signs, the decision to go bi-lingual calls for Cornwall County Council to recognise the county's distinctive culture and the place of the Cornish language as a unique cultural asset and asks for it to be promoted in line with the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages.

I'm glad of this, to see a revival in the ancient language of Cornwall is always going to be a good thing to keep old ways and traditions alive particularly in the light of the European Union trying to make us all one Europe.

12 November 2009

Free Hugs

Today is Guinness World Records Day and in honour of this commuters hugged each other for one minute to set a new world record at a central London railway station.

The 122 people, many of them strangers, hugged each other at St Pancras station while, a Guinness spokesman confirmed the record afterwards he said: "People were a little bit nervous but at the last minute everyone sprung into action."

I always like a good news story, and perhaps the move will spread.... after all we all like a hug every now and again

11 November 2009

Armistice Day

While the commemorative services all took place last Sunday, as it was the nearest Sunday to the 11th, today is actually Armistice Day.

The cessation of hostilities by the Allies and Germany involved in the First World War Western Front took place 91 years ago today signed in a railway carriage in Compiègne Forest. The Armistice was agreed at 5 AM on 11 November, to come into effect at 11 AM Paris time (that is 10 AM GMT), for which reason the occasion is sometimes referred to as "the eleventh (hour) of the eleventh (day) of the eleventh (month)".

The act of remembrance was actually suggested by George Honey in a letter to a British Newspaper, thank you George, and since about 20 years ago there has been a 2 minute silence kept on both Remembrance Sunday and also the 11th November and grows particularly with the current situation in Afghanistan as a way of remembering both those who serve and those who are currently serving.

So today at 11am I will stand quietly and remember those who were involved in the Great War, the Second World War, Suez, Korea, Malaya, The Falklands, Northern Ireland and now Afghanistan and hope that by the 100th anniversary of this sad day that peace will get an opportunity to change the future.

10 November 2009

I want to be ....

I can't help it, the long dark days, the cold frosty nights make me want to upsticks and move somewhere warmer...

I want to run on golden sands, with warm blue seas and the caress of warm sunshine on my back as I turn the page of my book I am reading. To sip a cold drink, and taste the sunshine sweetening the fruit on my tongue, to watch the sun slowly set over the sea before strolling home to my house on the shore.

Sadly, even if I could be at the picture today, it is more likely to be cold, wet and fairly miserable, and as for the house by the shore, I'm afraid that is just a figment of my imagination at the moment; and will be for a little while longer as I was not one of the two euromillions winners (wishing you nothing but happiness, joy and true friendship).

What do you want to do today?

09 November 2009

I Can't Abide Duplicity

I struggle to understand people who say one thing and mean another, either you mean what you say or you say what you mean is the right way.

There are too many instances of the former and not the latter in this country, but a prime example was that on last night's X-factor, don't get me wrong, I hate the programme but I always tune in for those last few moments to see who gets voted off and why and how.

This year's motley crew of aspiring stars are going to struggle out there in the real world, and I loathe the audition stage where humiliation seems to rank high; now it is at the level of the finalists leaving and the two jackasses of John and Edward who believe they can sing (they can but very badly) and buffoon their way through some classic songs were given a straight pass through to the next stage after going up against Lucie (who can sing beautifully if not necessarily rock star material).

How did this happen, well Louis voted for his act (obviously), Dannie and Cheryl voted for Lucie which meant that Simon only had to vote for her and Jedward as they are known would be back to the real world. After all his statements about their lamentable singing, dancing and buffoonery, how he disliked them personally and professionally and threatened to leave these shores if they won (can we wave goodbye to you now Simon?) you would think it was an easy decision for him and instead he decided to let it go to a public vote which ensured the more talented singer went home and it was clear that Lucie knew that even before the results were read out.

This is a travesty of an honest competition, for whatever reason Simon Cowell has for seeing these two buffoons continue on, it certainly won't be for their voices and for the unsuccessful competitors to go out against them it must be a huge disappointment.

Please let it get back to being a competition for a good singer, someone who stands a chance of making the big time otherwise you stand a good chance of losing public support for the programme.

08 November 2009

Remembrance Sunday

Today at 11am, and on Wednesday morning we will stand silently and think of the sacrifices that the men (and women) in the British armed forces, both today and in the past, have lost their lives so we may enjoy our freedom.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place;
and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing,
fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead.
Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved, and were loved,
and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.


Liet.-Col. John McCrae

07 November 2009

Saturday Satire - Smart Answers

6th Place
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
'What are my choices?' the man asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

5th Place
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without blinking an eyelid she said,
'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'

4th Place
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

The assistant replied, ' I'm afraid not, they're dead.'

3rd Place
The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said.
The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

2nd Place
A lorry driver was driving along on a country road.
A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab
And said to the driver,
'Got stuck, eh?'
The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'


ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'.

06 November 2009

Thoughts of Remembrance

I don't mention much in the way of personal details on here, or at least I hope I don't mention too much.

This weekend is Remembrance Sunday, a time to pay our respects to those who have served and those who are still serving in Her Majesty's Armed Forces.

My toll is : My Great Uncle C, who lost his life during the first World War. At this moment in time I have no more detail than that as I haven't yet managed to track him down successfully and due to the family disposing of records we don't have any details of even which regiment he served in.

My Grandfather J, served in the Second World War along with my maternal Grandfather I; both thankfully came home to their families afterwards though I got a mention in Dispatches for Gallant Action he would not talk about his experiences save to mention he drove a lorry.

My Father E, who served in the Army for 24 years, served in Libya and had to be evacuated twice the second time was for good. My Mum also served with him her first posting abroad as an army wife and came back with Zeltus.

and now it is the turn of my Nephew, also a J. He is doing his first deployment in Afghanistan, he has done two deployments previously to Iraq, and one to Bosnia. He isn't one to talk about what he has seen or done but he grew up fast after his first trip to Iraq.

I have to admit to listening with trepidation to the news from Afghanistan, hoping that he will escape unscathed, unwounded in mind and body.

They will all be in my thoughts on Sunday while I listen to the last post.

05 November 2009

My Favourite Copper

PC Tony Stamp is leaving the Bill tonight, the last of the regular original cast from the beginning poor Tone has been unlucky in love, the butt of some jokes and the instigator of others.

Cheerful, larger than life, caring about his patch at Sun Hill is being moved on by the writers who feel he isn't quite the right material for the darker episodes being written. Poor Tone is being moved to being an Advanced Driving Instructor at Hendon, the police college at least this leaves the way open to his return or guest starring episodes.

I have to admit in not watching The Bill in recent years, feeling that somehow, rather like London's Burning it had lost its way, too many times the station had been blown up, held hostage, burnt down and too many good characters such as June Ackland, Sgt Bob Cryer; who could forget Jim Carver and my other favourite Reg Hollis which also was a sad dismissal.

They say that actors form a family, and I guess today the audience is the final part of that family as we say goodbye to Tone... and Graham Cole who portrayed him since 1987 so he served 22 years. A fan site has been set up to appreciate the character the link is here.

04 November 2009

Love Story

I will seek and find you.



I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.




I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.




I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.




I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.




And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.




All my love,



The Flu


Sorry I couldn't resist this especially with the advent of the main winter flu season.

03 November 2009

Maybe, Just Maybe...

Thanks to the Hermit for his kind permission in recreating this here, I did ask first. The words mean a lot, as do all my visitors so this is for you guys.

1. Maybe . . . We were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

2. Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

3. Maybe . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

4. Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

5. Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

6. Maybe . . . You should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

7. Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

8. Maybe . . . The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

9. Maybe . . You should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

10. Maybe . . You should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone. Profound!

11. Maybe . . Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

12. Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

13. Maybe . . . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

14. Maybe . . . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy

15. Maybe . . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Maybe ...I could send this message to those people who mean something to me, to those who have touched my life, to those who can and do make me smile when I really need it, to those who make me see the brighter side of things when I am really down, and to all those whom I want to know that I appreciate them.

That, my friends, is why I'm sharing this with you! Maybe...it will be able to say just how special all of my readers are to me! Thank you just for being here!

02 November 2009

NaNoWriMo

Yesterday was the start of the project NaNoWriMo, the idea is just to write 50,000 words (ideally making a work of fiction) shorter than a novel, but longer than a story. I got the idea from Tom over at Random Acts of Reality and someone who I have admired for a long time with two novels to his name already, but I also know a couple of others and if that doesn't tickle your fancy then In the Gutter is doing the NaNoBloMo which simply involves writing a blog post once a day for each day in November; easier said than done as I know I did it last year.

So a challenge is there, and I have decided to write. Why not, I have often said I have a book in me, and I used to write with a group of friends in an online RPG game, so now was my opportunity.

The minimum suggested word level is 1,666 per day for 30 days straight (though you can do more), and yesterday I reached 1715 without too much difficulty. NaNoWriMo do suggest that you don't go back and edit something but just continue as normal even if you do spot a glaring error that might cause a problem later.

My posts for the RPG group used to be in the region of 2-3000 but that was every couple of days, though I did do a solo excursion while I was recuperating for an operation and I think the total score on that was over 100,00 words but it was over 5-6 weeks.

So I am optimistic, excited even and plot lines keep whirling through my head something that hasn't happened in quite a while...

If anyone wants to have a peek, you need to drop me an email to get access to the site as I don't want to have it open wide for casual drop in's you never know this might be the book of my dreams or just the dreams of my book.