Saturday Satire : Shop Signs

Sign over a gynaecologist's office.
"Dr Jones, at your cervix."

In a podiatrist's office.
"Time wounds all heels."

On a septic tank truck.
"Yesterday's meals on wheels."

On a plumber's truck.
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another plumber's truck.
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On a church's billboard.
"7 days without God makes one weak."

At a tyre store.
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On an electrician's truck.
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a non-smoking area.
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door.
"Push, push, push."

At an optometrist's office.
"If you don't see what you are looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's office.
"We really know our stuff."

On a fence.
"Salesmen welcome; dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership.
"The best way to get back on your feet---miss a car payment."

Outside a car exhaust store.
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a vet's waiting room.
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In a restaurant window.
"Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and be fed up."

In the front yard of a funeral director.
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Sign at a radiator shop.
"Best place in town to take a leak."

Sign on the back of another septic tank truck.
"Caution---This vehicle is full of political promises."